What also goes without saying is that I always buy some good stilton cheese, manchego and that delicious fig jam they sell right next to all the cheese.  Every. Single. Time.

So do you know what I have a lot of?  Those jars of fig jam.  and the stilton.  and occasionally some manchego.  Because no one ever seems to eat my cheese board.

hmmm…maybe I should rethink this?

So last night, I was headed to a happy hour where the host is gluten free.  I’m not terribly proficient in gluten free, but I’ve been trying new things and testing new ideas.

Here’s an idea…a cheese board with no crackers.

Who needs a cracker when you have salami?  The cracker of my dreams.

what you need:

1 salami, sliced into think rounds

1/2 cup fig jam (or any other “fancy” jam you have)

4 oz blue cheese

what to do:

take each slice of salami, spead a bit of jam on top, and then put a small piece of blue cheese on top.  Could that be an easier??

serve and enjoy!

What if the food is really messy?…then I’ll but 500 extra napkins

What if the kids like the oysters rockefeller…then I’ll make 3 dozen more

What if everyone is really thirsty?…then I’ll buy 2 extra cases of wine.

And just so you know.  These fears are completely unfounded.  Because never.  I mean NEVER. have have I run out of anything at a party.  Except tupperware and plastic wrap to put away all of the leftovers.

And just to be consistent, the same happened when I had a little Cinco de Mayo party.  I was so worried that the kids would want to eat my “adult” tacos or that the parents would want some kid targeted pizza, that I made just about double of everything.

And you know what happened?  Everyone ate so many apps, that hardly anyone ate the meal.

Story.Of.My.Life

so now I have 25 hard taco shells and 30 soft tacos in the freezer taking up a TON of space waiting to be used.  And that is exactly what I did.  I made choco tacos for the family.

And guess what?  There aren’t ANY leftover.

what you need:

8 taco shells

vanilla ice cream

10 oz dark chocolate chips

2 teaspoons ancho chile powder

4 oz chopped hazelnuts, toasted

what to do:

set the ice cream on the counter for 10-15 minutes so that it softens up a bit

fill each of the taco shells with ice cream.

put filled shells in the freezer for 2-3 hours to harden up

melt chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl.  I like to do it in intervals.  First 45 seconds, then for 30 seconds.  Stirring in between each interval until the chocolate is melted.

stir in ancho chile powder

dip tops of the taco into the chocolate mixture, using a spoon to make sure it is on evenly.  sprinkle with chopped hazelnuts.

put tacos back in the freezer until the chocolate is hard.

serve and enjoy

Do you know what I hate more than not getting a job that I had been all but promised?

When my father is right.

It is really freakin’ annoying.  Believe me.

And earlier today I posted a rant about a job I didn’t get (still sucks) in terms that were less than flattering for both me and the guy that was supposed to hire me.

And defying all notions that my parents never read my blog…my father called.

and sighed.

and under the opinion that now was a good time, decided time to impart some unsolicited fatherly advice.

and while I hate to admit it. He was right.  damn.

so do you know what I did?

I drank more of these delicious drinks posted by Heidi at Dooley Noted Style, and then I deleted the post. Double damn.

Heidi calls these delicious cocktails Spiked Arnlod Palmers…but in my family we call them John Daly’s.  Because let’s be honest.  After 3 of them, that’s what I start to resemble.

what you need:

And just enough time to realize that I was not going to be a classical pianist. (as evidenced by the fact that after three years I still had to write the letter notes above the musical notes #musicianfail)

And guess what Will has chosen to play for his Spring concert?  Fur Elise.

And you know what else…he wants to quit.

Part of me totally empathizes with him and feels like he should be allowed to quit.

The other part of me thinks I should dig deep in my tiger mom resevoirs and make him carry on.

Quit or carry on.

For now we carry on.

what you need:

4 garlic cloves

2 15 oz cans of chickpeas, drained, and liquid preserved

1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

1/2 cup tahini

2 lemons, juiced

10 dashes of hot sauce

olive oil

2 tablespoons chopped parsley

what to do:

In a food processor, put all garlic cloves and process until minced.

Add the rest of the ingredients to the processor and blend until it is smooth.  Add reserved chickpea liquid as needed to reach desired consistency.

Garnish with a few teaspoons of olive oil and chopped parsley.

Serve and enjoy!

Because I love myself a yummy humongous Honey Baked Ham.

Have you ever bought one?

It goes something like this:

Me: I’d like to buy a ham

server: how many people are you having?

Me: 10 adults, 7 kids

server: whoa.

server: do you want leftovers?

me: uh, no thanks.

server: good, because you’ll need the biggest ham we have here without leftovers.  It is like 750 pounds.  You can pick it up out back.  Do you have a big truck?

me: uhhh, ok.

server: oh, and that will cost you more than your christmas tenderloin.  happy easter!

So you know what the moral of the story is?

Tell them there will be 3 adults and 1 kid.  Then you’ll only have to buy the 200 pound ham.

But if you get left with lots of leftovers, this is a great recipe to bring to any party but a passover party.

what you need:

1 package of puff pastry (2 sheets), thawed

1/4 pound ham

1/2 pound shredded gruyere cheese

3 tablespoons dijon mustard

3 tablespoons raspberry jam

1 egg, beaten with 1 tbsp of water

what to do:

preheat oven to 425

roll first puff pastry sheet out to a 10×12 rectangle, place on a baking sheet lined with a silpat

place mustard in the middle and spread all over sheet, leaving a 1/2 inch border on all sides

cover mustard with ham and then cheese

roll out second puff pastry sheet to 10×12

heat raspberry jam in the microwave for 25 seconds

spread evenly on 2nd puff pastry sheet, leaving a 1/2 inch border

brush egg wash on 1/2 inch border of the ham and cheese pastry sheet

carefully flip puff pastry sheet onto the ham and cheese (raspberry side should be on top of cheese)

pinch edges of the two sheets, and trim excess puff pastry as needed

brush the top of the pastry with egg wash and cut slits in the top to allow for steam to escape

bake at 425 for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown

cool on baking sheet for 10 minutes, then cut into 2 inch squares

serve and enjoy!

oops my bad.

I’d love to catch you up on all that has been going on, but then you’d be as bored, cranky, and tired as I have been in the interminable winter.

I will tell you that I had the pleasure of spending Spring Break with the one and only Flat Stanley.

Don’t know who he is…well send me your address and I’ll send him to you.

Flat Stanley is a simple torture device that all teachers enact on their parents.  It is disguised as an assignment for the students…but let’s be honest here.  The parents are the ones carting Flat Stanley around, taking the pictures at each and every boring stop of Spring Break, printing out the pictures, and trying to recreate an otherwise mundane vacation into a pulitzer prize winning piece of fiction.

I’m on to you kindergarten teacher.  You’re getting homemade aprons and mugs for the rest of the year.

I’ll tell you what I won’t be making her for a gift.  These raspberry twists.  Not unless I can guarantee that the powdered sugar covers her brand new clean black sweater as she takes her first bite…

what you need:

1 package (2 sheets) puff pastry, thawes

1 cup raspberry jam

powdered sugar for dusting

what to do:

preheat oven to 400

dust large cutting board and rolling pin with flour.

one sheet at time, unwrap and roll out the puff pastry to make a 10×12 rectangle.

attempt to make both sheets the same size.

spread raspberry jam over one entire puff pastry sheet

cover with the 2nd pastry.

cut the pastry into 2 long rectangles and then cut width wise into 1/4 inch slices

twist slices very tightly (they will spread out when cooked) and place on a baking sheet lined with a silpat.

cook for 15 minutes or until the twists are lightly browned.

cool on baking sheet.

sprinkle generously with powdered sugar.

serve and enjoy.

I am so stinkin’ excited that it is a snow day today.  You have no idea.

Well…I guess if you are my business partner you do have somewhat of an idea, because I have been talking about this snow storm since it was just a glimmer in the eye of the meteorologists a week ago.

I love a good snow storm, I love the hype, I buy into all of the snowfall predictions.  30 inches in March, when it was 50 degrees yesterday.  If you say so buddy…I believe you!

Now, if it didn’t snow today I would have been devastated.  Not only because there was no snow (duh) but also because I would have had to go to work completely unprepared.  I didn’t do a lick of work for any of my meetings today.  No class preparations, no crafts ready, no agendas prepared.  It would have been ugly.  I mean really ugly.  I was getting kind of nervous when they still hadn’t canceled school at 3am.  We were all going to be watching Dora all day long.  Even at the PTA meeting.

But what I did prepare for was a baking extravaganza.  Who needs an agenda when you can make a shopping list with things on it like nutella, chocolate chips, butter, and sugar?

Stay tuned for those people, but in the meantime…these would be a delicious way to warm up after shoveling your driveway.

Did someone say SNOW DAY?!?!?

what you need:

8 oz brie wedge, sliced into relatively thin slices

1 apple peeled,cored and sliced

3/4 cup chopped pecans

2 package crescent rolls

honey

what to do:

preheat oven to 375

assemble all of your ingredients

unroll crescent rolls.  slice each crescent roll into 2 triangles.  they will not be exactly the same shape, but perfection is not necessary here.

on the short end of the triangle, place a brie slice, apple slice and a sprinkle of pecans.

roll up to look like a crescent roll.

place on a baking sheet lined with a silpat.

continue with all of the crescent rolls

bake at 375 for 13-15 minutes or until golden brown

put on serving dish, drizzle with honey.

serve and enjoy!

That’s not a lot of triggers, right?

And this week I’ve had a little bit of all of the above.  I had a 2nd interview for a job I really want (good), the girl who interviewed me was 23 (stress), I got turned down to do a reading in a show I auditioned for (bad) and I watched the Oscars (bored).

Side note…I officially have a girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence.  If she weren’t just a year younger than the girl who interviewed me this week, I’d pretend that we could BFFs.  But since I could be her extremely young mother…I’ll try not to go all cougar crush on her.

Writing these down really emphasizes how crazy-up and down my life is on a regular basis.

But what really keeps me going is trying to keep it all simple…when emotionally eating.

And whether you are happy, sad, stressed, or bored I guarantee that these little candy bars can get you through the day.

what you need:

1 box of graham crackers

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup butter

3 cups mini marshmellows

1 cup chocolate chips

4 Hershey Bars, coarsely chopped

what to do:

preheat oven to 350

line a large jelly roll pan (11×17) with foil and coat with cooking spray

cover entire pan with graham crackers

melt butter and sugar in a small saucepan and let boil gently (stirring constantly!) for 4-5 minutes (until sugar is dissolved)

pour sugar mixture over graham crackers and spread it evenly over the crackers

put in oven for 5-6 minutes or until sugar mixture is bubbly on top

remove from oven, and evenly spread marshmellows, chocolate chips, and chocolate bar pieces over the graham crackers

place back in the oven for 3-4 minutes, or until marshmellows are puffy

remove from oven, cool completely and then remove from pan, cut into bars.

serve and enjoy!

This week I printed a handful of recipes that have been calling my name from Pinterest to finally see if they are as good as their pictures.  I made the banana and oatmeal cookies (fantastic), the bbq chicken quinoa salad (equally fantastic) and tonight I am making “man pleasing chicken.”  I have to be honest, I want to hate this recipe because the title is just so horrible.  At dinner time, pleasing my man is the last thing on my mind.  If the recipe is good, I’m going to name it “kids ate dinner and did the dishes chicken.”   That would be one for the books!

Also from pinterest this week (adapted from Pink Parsley)…

what you need:

1 package active dry yeast

2 tablespoons plus one teaspoon brown sugar

1/4 cup warm water

1 cup warm milk

2 1/2-3 cups flour

1 cup finely chopped ham (5 oz)

1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

6 cups water

1 tablespoon baking soda

2 tablespoons melted butter

kosher salt

what to do:

combine the yeast, 1 tsp of brown sugar, and warm water in a large bowl.  Set aside until the mixture gets foamy (5-7 minutes)

in the meantime stir together 2 tbsp brown sugar with the warm milk

Add 2 1/2 cups flour and milk mixture to the yeast.  Stir with a wooden spoon until a soft dough forms.  Add any extra flour as needed.

Put the dough on a lightly floured surface, knead a few times and form into a smooth ball.

Place dough into a large bowl coated with olive oil.  Cover with plastic wrap.

Put in a warm, non-breezy place for 2 hours, or until it has doubled in size and bubbles have appeared on the surface.

Turn dough on a lightly floured surface.  Divide into 3 equal parts.

Roll out into a 12×4 rectangle and place 1/3 of ham and 1/3 of cheese along the long edge of the rectangle.  Roll as tightly as possible and place on a cookie to sheet to rest for 30 minutes.  Repeat for the remaining 2 pieces of dough.

preheat oven to 400

boil the 6 cups of water, add the baking soda and reduce to gentle simmer

cut each roll into 12-15 1″ pieces

Place pieces in the baking soda water.

boil for 20 seconds, until slightly puffy.  Remove with a slotted spoon and put on a baking sheet lined with a silpat.

bake pretzel bites for 15-17 minutes or until puffed and golden brown.

brush the pretzel bites with melted butter and sprinkle with kosher salt.

serve and enjoy

But it didn’t take us too long to figure out that usually we could sneak out back and throw the veggie lasagna over the fence into the horse pasture without anyone noticing.  Until one day a pony had broccoli in her halter…oops.

But the point I am getting to is that growing up I always envied the kids that had those Stouffers French Bread Pizzas when their parents went out.  And so you know what…today I made them.  And you know what else?  I must be getting more like my mom, because I even put veggies on them.  But you  don’t have to, I promise.  I won’t tell.

what you need:

1 large french bread loaf, split in half

1 jar pizza sauce

2 cups shredded mozzarella

any topping you want: pepperoni, sausage, ham, pineapple, peppers, mushrooms, onions…the world is your oyster! (I did one plain and one pepperoni and mushroom)

what to do:

heat up the broiler in your oven

place french bread halves on a cookie sheet

generously cover each half with pizza sauce

sprinkle a light layer of cheese on the pizza, cover with toppings and then sprinkle an additional light layer of cheese on top

put in broiler for 7-9 minutes or until the cheese starts to brown

let cool for 5 minutes before you slice.

serve and enjoy!